Thoughts on Grace Is Gone

This movie was slow-paced, and focuses on family bonds. It revolves around a father and her two daughters, spending time together, before the inevitable truth sets in. As someone who had just received news of the death of his wife in military service, John Cusack fit the role neatly as a stern father with a distant and longing look in his eyes.

Since the beginning until the end of the movie, we can see how Stanley attempts to cope with the loss of his wife, Grace. In his own way, he was grieving, and yet, trying to break the news to his two girls. According to Kubler-Ross, there are five stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. As a whole, Stanley did not go through the five stages in order or proportionally, but he tends to sway between denial and depression. As an example, his denial can be seen when he called his house phone while they were travelling, so that he could hear her voice on the answering machine and "talk" to her. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened, and that Stanley was leaving a simple voice message for Grace like normally. Conversely, when he first received the news from the military officers, he was so shocked that he couldn't form his words properly, and merely slump on the couch and not going to work. This could be his depression stage, where he couldn't do anything, and didn't want to have anything to do with others. Nonetheless, there were brief scenes of the other stages as well. For instance, when his brother, Uncle Joe, heard the news, he was surprised and confront his brother, inquiring of his current behaviour. Anger was seen when Joe began to push Stanley to a corner, forcing him to face the reality, to the point where Stanley lashed out with rage and grab Joe by the shirt. In contrast, he could be seem to be in the bargaining stages too when he "talked" with Grace and asked her for advice on the answering phone. He woefully mentioned how he should have been the one that went to the war and not her.

Heidi was a character that pique my interest. She was only twelve years old, yet she displayed a sharpness and emotional acuteness that was above her age. At twelve years old, she is on the borderline of concrete and formal operational stages of Piaget's cognitive development. Supposedly, the formal operation stage signifies beginning of abstract thought processes. However, it is possible that Heidi matured earlier than according to Piaget's stages, as she seems to have a solid grasp of underlying meanings of actions and words. She knew that there was something going on with his father when he suddenly wanting to travel to their fun places. As the movie progress, we could see how Heidi kept an eye on his father's behaviour and occasionally tried to pry the truth out of him, one way or another. For example, at the Enchanted Garden, she asked him directly, by suggesting certain possibilities. She was also correct when she guessed that her father didn't go to work on the day that they left. Moreover, she inquired Uncle Joe of her father as well, of certain things that she knew that her father wouldn't have answered.

Personally, the way that Stanley dealt with the loss, and how he tried to gently break the news to his daughters, broke me on the inside. It hurts to see someone cope with loss. Because I know what it is like to feel that way. None of my friends or family have died, so I have not lost anyone in that manner. Nevertheless, I have lost many, many of my friends, due to lost contact or long distance. I didn't know how to cope with it. I have learned to acknowledge it and deal with it, especially on an emotional level. Even so, to this day, it still hurts and aches at the loss. Just like how the Philipps family would feel the hurt and ache at their loss.